Thursday, November 8, 2012

Just like riding a bike...right? right?



This week (and a few weeks leading up to this week) is a busy and stressful time at my work. One of four high-stress times that happen each year at my work. Everyone I work with has a deadline to meet which requires a lot of preparation leading up to said deadline. Now, I know I’ve talked about my type-A behaviours in the past, but for those of you who don’t know, I’m a bit of a brown-noser (my husband likes to make kissing noises when I tell him something I’ve done at work that he believes is over the top...this happens frequently.) When I have a deadline or I agree to do something, I do it. Usually immediately...or as soon as humanly possible. I don’t like to sit on work and once I start, I do it until it’s done. I’m dependable...some might say anal...others curse and or mock me. 

Every year, four times a year, I get the same question from someone in the building who doesn’t know me well enough to know better... “Hey, Angie, you get your project done?” If I’m alone, I simply nod and say, “yep, I did.” If I’m with someone who knows me, they usually answer on my behalf, “Who, Angie? She got it done two days ago.” Snort. (I’m sure you can see why my husband makes ass-kissing noises.)

This is the way I am. I can’t change it. I don’t slack off. Ever.

I’ve heard some writers say that the only way to be a successful writer is to treat it like a job. To set goals and work every day whether you feel like it or not. I don’t believe in a muse and I don’t believe in writer’s block. I do believe that your ability to write (and I’m not talking skill but the act of sitting down and writing) is dependant, to some extent, on your state of mind. A person, an event, life in general can impact your ability to sit down and get the job done. I haven’t been very good at my writer job these days. I've been getting part of the job done...the editing part but the actual writing...yeah...not so much. The ideas are there...the plan is set, the outline written, but up until a week ago, my drive was M.I.A. It's an unusual and uncomfortable feeling for a type-A to not have a goal. 

It hasn’t been a great year for me. Which is probably the understatement of the century. 

I have some wonderful friends (both virtually and in real life) and supportive family who have been working hard to get my ass back in the game, to help boost my mood and my confidence. They stroke my ego, they give me love and slowly, slowly I am feeling more like my anal, brown-noser writer self. I’m not working to my potential...yet...but I’m getting there. 

So, those of you in the same boat, chin up, tits out (thanks Tammy ;-) and keep on writing...sooner or later you'll figure out how to ride that bike again.

6 comments:

  1. Dedicated, determined, efficient and effective. Your blog describes that sort of person.

    To me, a brown-noser is the office creep, constantly trying to shmooze the boss to cover how utterly useless they really are. Not you.

    Writing is a state of mind, and it's good to hear yours is becoming more positive again. Just remember, you never lost 'it', 'it' just went to sleep for a bit, and you'll come back stronger after taking forty winks.

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  2. I laughed all through this post. We are so much alike, including our approaches to writing. I take all the romanticism out of the process. That's why I know you will find your way back to where you need to be.

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  3. I'd be hopping on the hypocrite train to give advice because I have been lazy as hell about writing.

    That being said, at other times I've found it useful to make myself write flash fiction. Committing to 5-15 minutes is easy compared to writing a novel. Once the mojo enters the picture, it can be much easier to maintain the momentum and write more or at least more frequently.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Angie. I always enjoy your mind.

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